Too much drama for your mama

Why all the drama?

I thought that when you reached a certain age, the petty jealous feuds that high school girls are so prone to would just magically disappear. I had hoped that those kind of things were outgrown by the time you reach 25, 30, 35… I was wrong.

Background: I’m in a club with several people, both single and married. A new guy joined the club last December and he and I began to date. We dated for 6 weeks, then I broke it off with him, ostensibly because I was ‘too busy.’ He took it well (I thought), and we all moved along on our happy little ways.

Another woman in the club has ‘liked’ him since she first met him. After I broke up with him, she tried to make her move. They got drunk, messed around one night, but nothing came of it. She finally told me what was going on, and she and I ended up discussing him, his habits, his traits, and what I thought he meant when he said/did certain things to her. This went on for quite some time before I realized that he is just not interested in her at all. After all, she suggested they go out ‘just as friends’ numerous times, and he had to get her number from her again each time, yet he never called. Obviously not interested, right?

Oh, women. We are so dumb. We will set our sights on a man, thinking he is the end-all be-all, and refuse to give up, believing that we WILL win him over. I’ve been guilty of it myself, dozens of times. And those poor unsuspecting men… oh my.

Like all obsessions, though, this one eventually seemed to wear thin. After all of the mixed signals, confusing group outings, and still not a phone call, she said she was tired of the game. She said she was through with it. I was glad. I didn’t want to see her continue to obsess and end up hurting even more.

So, fast forward to about a month ago. Our club went on a weekend camping trip. She rode with me, he was there, all seemed to be going just peachy. Until I completely forgot about her feelings. Just being around him reminded me of how much fun we had together. I started flirting a bit, he flirted back, and it just escalated over the weekend until he ended up in my tent Saturday night.

I wasn’t aware that anyone knew he was in my tent, but apparently all that rum I drank impaired my judgment just a bit (who would have thought??). She knew what happened and confronted me after we made it back to the Dallas area. She was deeply hurt by my actions, which I understood, but she thought I had done it all on purpose. Now anyone who knows me knows that I would never maliciously do something like that to hurt someone else, particularly someone I consider a friend. However, she doesn’t know me that well, apparently, as she is currently not speaking to me.

On top of her drama, he and I began discussing getting back together. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do that, what with her still being around, but on the other hand, I know now that she is not going to go after him anymore, since we ‘humiliated’ her. We spent some time together trying to figure out what we are going to do, but the long and short of it is that we are not going to get back together.

So from all of that drama and heartache, absolutely nothing about the core situation has changed, really. He and I are not going to date. He is not interested in her. Now, I’m just the bad guy in all of this. I guess I just learned my lesson about always thinking about everyone else before doing anything. Like that’s going to work.