Bitch, bitch, bitch... you'd think I was having a real problem

Excessive noise absolutely whips my ass. I’m not sure why this is. I’m an extremely visual person- you tell me something, I may or may not grasp it; if I get to see something, I’ve got it down. Maybe that has something to do with my extreme sensitivity to noise.

So why is it that I always have to work with the noisiest people ever?

One of my co-workers stomps around the office like a baby elephant in her giant wedge heels. That grates on my nerves like you cannot believe. She and I are about the same size, so why is it that I can walk around with galumphing so that everyone in the office can hear me coming 50ft away, but she can’t?

My favorite is the poor kid who still has a horrendous stuttering problem at the age of 22. He can barely get a word out. I feel so bad for him, but it wears me out. Of course, he also stomps (he’s a big guy), and heaves sighs so loudly you would think he was contemplating the future of the entire free world.

And the bit players- the Indian guy who moans instead of saying ‘Um’ (which would be worse? I can’t decide.); the boss who seems to have a perpetual hacking cough; the Russian woman with the best lilting voice and laugh, but also the loudest; and the VP who is quite possibly the loudest man in town, and also very likely the most eccentric. His favorite trick is to walk into the office and shout my director’s name across the floor as though the man weren’t standing less than 20ft from him.

What else can I bitch about today?

Ooh, I know. My roommate. I have to float every one of her bills, including buying the groceries for at least 2 weeks out of every month. She borrows things without asking, broke a hair clip and just threw it away, and it’s time for her to mow the damn yard!

My leg hurts, my toe is still purple, and my hair looks bad. And we’re out of Ziploc baggies.

On the flip side, my parents came to my house last night bearing gifts. I have a window unit in my bedroom now! YAY!!!! Air conditioning… no greater indulgence, no sweeter sin.