The People Make the Trip

And the people Im traveling with are a trip. Sorry, still no apostrophe to be found.

Lemme tell you about the people riding around on the bus with us.

The Tour Guide- Maria. A native Czech, likes to fill every moment of silence with "interesting and special" facts. Needs to work on not being annoying as hell, "You know?" My favorite thing is to listen for her little foibles... whenever she had to do something in the past, she talks about how she "hadjt to do do it". Ill have to imitate her in person for that to really come across.

The Bus Driver- Honsai, or at least thats how Tim says it. I think his name must be Honsa or Hansel or something like that. He understands English very well, just doesnt speak it very well, and apparently our tour guide doesnt know all that much. Hes pretty funny and definitely likes to stay out late and drink his beer.

The Tour Coordinator- Tim. From a small town in west Texas, Tim looks like he belongs here in Europe. Tall, goofy smile, flat top haircut, and coke bottle glasses. He also likes to get drunk.

The Sisters- Julie, Mary, Jennifer, and Monica. Four women in their 40s-50s all on a trip with just the girls. Except that one brought her husband and one brought her 14 year old kid. They were definitely raised as Southern Belles down in southern Louisiana. They are always dressed up, hot pink lipstick on, and ready for any opportunity to shop. Very funny women, but I feel sorry for the husband and kid.

The Homeschoolers- I think their name is Doubechka. Odd couple from Killeen. She homeschools their 4 kids, has a tattoo of a cat holding flowers on her thigh, and seems like shes just some dumb hick on her second marriage. He doesnt claim her first kid, but talks constantly about how gorgeous his three kids are.

The Backrow Boys- Dan and JoeJohn. No, really, his name is JoeJohn. They tip the scales at over a quarter ton put togther and like to sit at the back of the bus. They spend lots of time drinking, smoking, and searching out casinos. They are somewhat rude, Dan being extremely condescending, and just kind of a pain in the ass.

Mary Katherine Gallagher- Eileen. This woman is crazier than a bedbug. She talks 90 miles an hour and just generally annoys the hell out of you. She always wants to drink a Fanta, but she talks so fast that the poor waiters have no idea what she is ordering. She just has the carriage of Mary Katherine Gallagher as a 40-something woman... picture that.

And all the rest. Several very large men. A few women who have trouble walking anywhere. Some people that I swear I didnt see the first 3 days. And my family.


And the food. Lots of salty meat and starch discs. Still. Last night it was salty duck with beet root and two kinds of dumplings. At least the alcohol is pretty free-flowing, so you can get good and buzzed and not really think about the food. No blood sausage has been offered yet, and I hope to avoid that.

I dont think I mentioned, we went to the Budweiser Budvar factory the other day. This is beer that has been made in the same spot since the 1200s. No relation to US Budweiser. We drank beer straight out of the holding tank, before pasteurization or any of that. That. was. the. best. beer. I. have. ever. had. in. my. whole. life. YUM!!!